Through Tension and Tears
In my existence, there were a lot of incidents that struck me and then eventually drove me to do some things that are sometimes unusual for me to do. But this is very seldom. Most of the time, it takes tons and tons of apprehension and/or effort for me to be enthused. Just this Tuesday, I think I had a taste of it after quite a while, when I witnessed a burst of outrage of a prolific persona that left me in awe… until now.
It all happened during a rehearsal. Things were running smoothly: the cast were attentively listening to the director, all the four ladies with the same role as the one being rehearsed were carefully and patiently watching and observing every blocking and treatment of every dialogue, and the set was complete with all the props. After the lady that was being observed by the rest was done rehearsing, the four ladies had their turns of familiarizing themselves with the set, props, and blockings. Everyone was in good mood. The director was pouring his theatrical erudition to stimulate each actors’ motivation as to the actors impart to him and the rest their knowledge on their forte on other matters (since they have different professions), until the director got pissed-off by the lady. She was about to go out, waving goodbye to the director, thinking she was already dismissed since she’s done rehearsing already. The director told her that she should have told him that she’s leaving already, but then she didn’t. To justify her actions she told him in a polite way that she did ask permission to leave and maybe he just didn’t hear it. That time, I already felt his rage especially when he verbalized: “… nakataas na kilay ko!” He started firing up. He was fuming from his toes up to the tips of his fingers, then to his temporal lobes. Without exaggeration, his muscles and veins were already protruding on his thoracic area and even on his arms up to the point I feared aneurysm might strike him. It seems that I could never forget his very image and aura of the event because it was then I heard a lot of things (although not intended for me) that made me think until now.
- Never blame anybody else for your shortcomings. The least you can do is say sorry and make up for it. And when you say sorry, don’t do it again even if you didn’t say, “I’ll never do it again.” Accepting your mistake is the precursor to taking responsibility of your life.
- Airplanes fly high towards the direction they’re going, and trains speed off to places because they have tracks, they follow a route… People shun out from these tracks because they feared that their freedom might be stripped off from them… they fail to achieve what they’ve aspired for because they’re protecting their freedom… but FREEDOM IS NOT ABSOLUTE!
- We can never change our position in life… but we can change our disposition.
- If you feel bad about yourself, do something about it. Don’t stick with it.
- There are many people who hungers and are suffering in Ethiopia… consider yourself lucky to be here!
Those were just some of the things I remembered (too bad I didn’t have ultrasonic memory). They’re short and snappy, simple but very applicable. It probably dawn on me because those were the things I needed at the moment.
At that time, the actress (the lady) was crying her heart out. There’s nothing more left for her to say since most of what were said were too personal and direct (since some issues from her past and present productions were brought up). Tears just kept on falling on her cheeks, her head stayed drooped because of guilt and shame. But my approbation to the whole thing especially to the director did not end there. What happened after the burst of rage bumped up my regard to him. Few minutes after a long pause, the director approached his actress, sat beside her and asked for forgiveness. The phrase I heard him say was “I’m sorry for how I acted. I didn’t do it to make you feel bad about yourself… I want you to learn… We care about you here but you don’t care about yourself…” The mere thought of somebody so prolific and highly regarded individual as him, sincerely asking for apology to his subordinate, accepting her for what she is, giving her chance, and not letting her go astray, moved me and almost made me burst into tears. As shown on this occurence, he has intense connection with his actors, that he almost knows how they breath and how they’d react on things; that made him know so well how he’ll mould them not just to become a good actor/actress on-stage but a beautiful person off-stage.
September 16th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
very well said..